art taylor

So, first of all, a little backstory. Actually, never mind the backstory, because you don't want to know how Kat and I got piercings at the same time ten years ago or so.

Anyway, Kat decided to take out her navel ring a week or two ago, and was wandering around tonight, trying to stick her stomach out.

Her: I would have had to take it out anyway if I got pregnant, because I've heard they give you really bad stretch marks. Eventually, if you leave it in long enough, the pressure would end up pushing it out.

Me: Eww, you'd have like this bifurcated bit of skin above your navel!

Her: Yeah. Apparently, the stretch marks make a starburst pattern.

Me: Your bellybutton would look like a butthole!

Her: I'm not getting pregnant with you. If you want kids, we're going to have to adopt.

Me: That's OK, we can adopt my illegitimate children.

Why is this not funny? Why did I have to apologize for ten minutes?